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Volume 1


Introducing the Proceedings of the Natural Institute of Science (PNIS): Come with us!.


Guide to understanding scientific writing. I. Abbreviations


Guide to understanding scientific writing. II. Common Phrases (Part 1: the Latin ones)

Guide to understanding scientific writing. II. Common Phrases (Part 2: the non-Latin ones)


Argument for compatibility in the discourse of cake possession versus cake consumption


The many revolutions of the Proceedings of the Natural Institute of Science: A review and prospectus (but not a meta-analysis)



Assessment of the frequency with which men think of things: chicken wings


Searching for the intelligent designer: a laboratory experiment


A proposed revision to the Periodic Table of the Elements


Effects of climate change, agricultural clearing, and the sun becoming a red giant on an old growth oak-hickory forest in southeastern Iowa

Assisted thermoregulation: a new conservation strategy for mitigating negative effects of global climate change


What's all this then about monkeys peeling bananas better than humans?


Successful clinical trials of HomeoQuack©, a homeopathic vaccine for autism


Characterizing the morphologically distinct regions of comet 67P/Churyumov-Gerasimenko


A child’s Christmas in the surveillance state: Cultural critique, Elf on a Shelf



How much damage can a 6 year-old possibly do? An analysis of the cost of raising a child like Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes


A Shakespearean translation of the last rap battle in 8 Mile, with a subsequent analysis of its quality


Yes We Canities! A quantitative analysis of the graying of Barack Obama's hair


If you believe in heaven, then you should be doing everything possible in order to get there


Yes, if you poop at work, you are getting paid to poop. But you're also saving money


Peak Pumpkin Spice: When will it end?: The indefinite analysis.


We are entering an unprecedented age in baby name flux


Comparative morphology of popular xkcd characters


The truth about Santa’s beer: An experimental test of holiday beer appeal

Volume 2


Guide to understanding scientific writing. III. Titles



Neural correlates of people waiting to get into Heaven


Fine-scale movements of a Midwestern Beech-Maple Forest: First Ever Tree Radiotelemetry Study


I am in Hardy-Weinberg Equilibrium


Honey, this χ2 analysis shows that I clean the cat’s litter box significantly more than you do


An analysis of some quotes of George W. Bush: Bumbling idiot or master wordsmith?


A Statistical Reformulation of the Mass-Energy Equivalence Equation, E=mc2


The proof of the pudding: A series of applied tests of the implications of research on embodiment


Dynamics and behavior of a local eastern gray squirrel (Sciurus carolinensis) population


Exposure to Fox News increases vigilance in tadpoles of the green frog (Rana clamitans)



According to this analysis, the biggest upset in Super Bowl history occurred more recently than you think


A quest to find some absurd yet accurate predictors of Super Bowl success


Our Super Bowl Prediction: Seattle Seahawks 29.02, New England Patriots 17.98


Did the Apollo astronauts retain their Hemingway-esque diction while walking on the moon?


How likely are you to encounter snark on Stack Overflow? Part 1: Comparison of statistical software


Racial and gender diversity of the characters in The New Yorker cartoons


Dispatch from the Obvious Department: The New Yorker cartoons drawn by females contain more female characters


The different characters of the cartoons of The New Yorker and the cartoonists who draw them


Can you pray your way toward statistical significance? An experimental test


The Best and the sneakiest: Minimizing the cost associated with false publication histories


The War Between the Barbates: Facial hair of the commanders of the United States Civil War


Beards of War: Relationships between facial hair coverage and battle outcome in the U.S. Civil War


Volume 3


Making America’s Scientists Great Again: The Proceedings of the Natural Institute of Science endorses Donald Trump (Editor's Note: Holy Shit, we're sorry, we didn't think this would work!)



Laboratory "evolution" of complex life



Some updated stats on the Super Bowl and our annual, precise prediction


Yes We Canities Update! Fact-checking Obama's prediction that he would resemble Morgan Freeman in 4 years


Hand size does not correlate with brain size among US politicians: a non-partisan analysis



Map showing the number of US State symbols and icons that are actually non-native species


Viva l'Italia! Rick Steves' Europe features Italy more than any other country



Paper of the Future! What a standard academic paper might look like in five years


Scientific Paper Supercut: "More Research is Needed"


Our Article for Cracked.com (The Director's Cut!)



New ASA membership plans permit members to reject null hypotheses at alpha values > 0.05

Nature Publishing Group to begin publishing personalized journals

Discovery Institute to launch a theistic extension for Microsoft Office

Tim Hunt unsure to which Nobel laureate he’ll pass the bigot baton

Conservatives hoping to use 2015 as a future starting point for short-term cooling trends in temperature

Lab technician issues recall for latest batch of agar plates

Local community not realizing the environmental benefits of cutting down nearby forest, says timber company

Tungsten hires publicist amid image overhaul

Plutonium to be renamed Trans-Neptunian Objectium

Principal Investigator still not pleased with latest iteration of Figure 2

Scientist baffled and upset that a recently published paper did not cite his research

Desperate for funding, scientists try to include graphene in their research

Taiga to be officially renamed as "The Biome Formerly Known as Taiga"

Failed PCR blamed on misplacement of lucky pipette

Laboratory study on predator-induced plasticity in krill already well over budget

Graduate student just realized that yesterday was a holiday

American Psychological Association to republish retraced articles in wake of reproducibility project

Craft reagents becoming a booming scientific business

California's innovation plummets as drought cuts length of scientists' showers

Five-year thought experiment expected to come in well under budget

Thermo Fisher Scientific to release new Pumpkin Spice Agarose

Commentary: Albert Einstein used to be a great scientist, but now it seems like he's just coasting

Department chair would like to remind faculty that tweets do not count as publications for annual review

Students puts science fair project behind a paywall, wins first prize

Students unsure if professor's rant about being an adjunct will be on the final exam

Researcher now claiming that oft-rejected manuscript was actually a performance art piece

Physics student crushed that STEM isn't the sexless, geek paradise promised by the Big Bang Theory

Grad student in mathematics ruins birthday party by using a fair division algorithm to cut cake

BREAKING: Student consults syllabus before asking question about course schedule

Astrobiologists desperately seeking statistical test that can work with a sample size of one

After top-secret meeting, climate scientists agree to ‘raise’ Earth’s temperature by 0.1 degrees Fahrenheit in 2016

Elsevier’s new Valentine’s Day ad campaign urges scientists to buy a paywalled article for that 'special someone'

In effort to pad CV, postdoc requests that all birthday presents be given as ‘grants’

Simon & Schuster recall Scratch-n-Sniff Periodic Table of the Elements children’s book

Excision of junk DNA becomes latest plastic surgery trend

Internal Revenue Service announces that professors can claim graduate students as dependents

Poll finds that a majority of Dinosaurs now regret evolving into birds

Rogue astronomer names new exoplanet Kepler-89a

Non-normal dataset sues statistician over discrimination

Wiley-Blackwell launches ‘cheese-stuffed’ journals in effort to increase print subscriptions

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